"Now it began..." What? The end already? I barely picked up the book and now it was over? Well anyways, brilliant Mr. Michael Crichton. An absolutely smashing look at Viking life with the incorporation of Beowulf. I heard a voice, a male voice, call for me, and I quickly rose from my seat in the study and headed out to the sitting room.
"Fer the last tiam Gage, wot is it? Wot the blazes dew yew want?" His almost pathetic blue eyes looked up at me and sorrowfully he pleaded,
"Fluff my pillow?" I had to laugh. Oh never again would I, Sine Ghunnr, look after a sick man.
"Oh alrigh." I walked over and fluffed his pillow.
"Sine, please can you bring me some soup? It's the only thing I can keep down." I rolled my eyes in disgust and headed to the kitchen, my beautifully stylized country kitchen deep in the heart of NYC. As I put a packet of Liptons on the boil, I sat down on the window ledge and began to think. What was life really like in the 10th century AD? I did have some degree of knowledge as I was an archaeologist centred at Jorvik Viking Centre in York England whilst I took my Ma and PhD in the same subject. Sometimes I had the odd visitor ask me what it was really like and I'd sit them down and tell them the story of Stag and her adventures through the Viking Norway. The idea came to me from a dream one night in first year. Stag's husband was Roneth the Black, and they travelled together from their first meeting to the birth of their first child, Olaf Ronethson. Over the years the saga grew and Stag became close to my heart. She eventually lead me here to America and New York, a long way from any Viking relics. Here I met Gage one hot, sunny June morning. As I got to know him better, I often mistaken his name and called him Roneth on numerous occations. The parallels scared me at first, but as time went by, it, I guess, grew to be common place. He laughed at me a lot and I became blundered in my confusion. Eventually, we came to a comprimise that if I were to call him Gage, and not his nickname, he was in deep. I never told him the whole story, well not of Stag and who Roneth really was. I would be laughed off the face of the earth. But in any case, in secret, I kept Stag alive. In a way she represented my cling, my last few threads of my old life. I sat on the window ledge thinking about Yorkshire, and home, the Highlands of Scotland until I was rudely reminded of the soup as it bubbled over. Back to reality Sine.
As the days went by, Gage got better, and my nagging headache subsided. Never will I go through that again. One phrase ran through my mind through the duration of his illness: 'Nothing's as sick as a man'. My mum never spoke truer words.
"SINE! Come down out of the clouds! It's time to go to work!" I snapped back to reality and realized what Gage had said. Work, I was late for work! In a two minute mile, I was cleaned up and roaring downstairs with Gage. Oh why of all days did we have a late practice?! As we raced into the theatre, the rest of the cast of CATS were already warming up. We threw our bags down and pulled up the tail end. I then spotted him making his way over.
"Sine, Gage, you're late, again. What are we going to do with you two?" Just then Angus, my eldest brother, wheeled himself over to the commotion.
"Cume on Paul, cut em sum slack. Least their sprints er gettin beher. An not tew menshun their 'sposive energy. Best in the class!! Endurance?! Ha! Strongest yet! Muvin in tewgeher's the best thin they culd ave dun fer their careers." Paul, the director, couldn't argue. Good ol' Angus. After Paul had left, Angus turned to me, "Ead in em clouds 'gain Sine?" Gage answered for me.
"Uh huh. What's going on Sine? This is the fourth time in five days we've been late. Is everything okay?" I nodded, but in truth, there was a traffic jam inside my head. So many ideas and emotions, and then the regular stuff. As practice ended and I finished my routine, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, with Erik Bradshaw, Mungo Erik and Teazer me, I set off for a water break and cool down. Gage had already finished his Mr. Mistoffelees routine and was waiting for me. Never could anyone dance as well as he could, well apart from Angus. Alas now Angus was condemed to a chair, but he did not regret what he did to get in it for an instant. He gave up his legs so that I could live. Sound strange? Well, I used to be this big shot step dancer in Europe, I hate calling it Irish dancing, but it's the same thing. I eventually gave that up to presue archaeology and theatre. My final dance and competition was a BIG news story and the perfect chance for my stalker, a fellow dancer's husband's brother, to put an end to my dancing once and for all. Angus had been to everyone of my competitions and festivals as my musical accompanyment, and at one point, he was as a famous dancer as myself. Well, at the end of the dance, he saw the gun man aim the pistol and he pushed me out of the way as the bullet flew out of the barrel and into his back severing his spinal cord and soon rendering him unconcious. Seamus, my youngest but still elder brother, caught the gun man and knocked him out cold. I swear, since he's been playing field hockey for the national team, he's lost it. I think he's taken a few too many balls to the head. Anyway, after months in the hospital, many surgeries, court days, therapy, and pain killers, Angus came back to work in his role as chief make-up designer here at the Winter Garden Theatre.
After cool down, Gage and I headed back upstairs to our flat. I made a simple supper, and Gage cleaned up. At the turn of the hour, we retired. He changed quickly and got into bed, while I took my time and sat on the bed for a moment, head in the clouds. I felt a hand rub my back and I came back down to earth.
"Sine, earth to Sine." I turned my head. "Hey beautiful, is everything alright?" He drew back the blankets and beckoned me beside him. I quickly crawled underneth and to his waiting arms. I huddled for a moment before relaxing and enjoying his company. He held me tightly, kissed my brow, and whispered, "It's not Angus is it?" I sighed sadly, and hid myself in his embrace. He took that for a yes and tightened his hold, but still stroking my long curly red hair. "Shh, it's over now. It'll be alright. Nothing's going to hurt you here." Soon I fell asleep to his kisses and caresses. When I awoke the next morning, I found myself wrapped in his arms, head against his chest listening to his heart beat. Never before did I feel so safe. This was were I wanted to spend forever. He acknowledged my alertness, and held me closer. Hours went by and we both lay in peaceful silence enjoying each other's company letting the world spin outside our door. Eventually somebody opened it. Now not even Angus knew about Gage and I, well not until now. A very familiar male voice of about fourteen, broke the silence.
"Gage! Gage! Where are you?" Slowly the knob for the bedroom door turned and the the door opened. Gavin, Gage's younger brother, a black haired blue eyed teen, stuck his head around and spotted us. "What the hell are you two doing? Wait, I don't want to know! Oh wait until Mum finds out." Gage growled at his brother,
"Go away Gavin! We're not doing anything. Now get lost!" I groaned and rose from the dead.
"Gavin, please, just gew away. Let me gew back tew sleep."
"Busy night?" That did it. Gage got up and knocked some truth into him. I heard a few "Don't talk to her like that" then a few "Ooo Gage"'s, then a "You'd better marry her!" finally a slammed door. Now as savagely as my brothers and I got on, never was it so brutal. Gage didn't return, but I smelt hot chocolate, and heard a commotion between cereal boxes and dropped cereal bowls. I stretched out and lay in bed for a bit longer before getting up, wrapping myself in my robe and heading to the kitchen. As the bread I put in the toaster was toasting, I sat down next to Gage. Again silence until he broke it.
"He's right you know" Confused I asked,
"Oo is? Gavin? Bout wot?" Gage finished his mouthful of Froot Loops and sighed.
"Yeah Gavin." He let out a deep sigh. Something big, something profound was about to be uttered. He stared down at the bowl, then eventually back up to me. "Sine," his eyes were nervous, and his lips were uncertain. He took a deep breath. I began to worry. "Sine I think I've fallen." He turned his eyes down cast, almost ashamed "Fallen for you." I looked at him with eyes full of wonder. I guess we both knew it for a long time, but were either too stubborn, or just too shy to admit it. There was no need to search my soul for what words came next.
"I luv yew Gage. I always ave." I reached over and kissed him. He met me half way. Froot Loops and morning breath. So this was love.
In the latter part of the day, after work, we decided to go for a walk through and to for that matter, Central Park. On our way there, a motorbike that was zipping through the streets, lost control and a car swerved to miss it and started a chain reaction. Gage went off to find himself a giant pretzle and I waited for him by the street. Suddenly a flash of pain ripped through the right side of my body. I could feel somthing warm and wet ooze down the front of my face, but everything went black and I no longer felt the sensation. I could hear voices calling to me, Gage screaming something, but it all seemed so far away, and lost in a mist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched her fall into a pool of her own blood.
"SINE! NO!" I rushed over and held her limp body. Her heart rate was slow and her breathing so shallow. The motorcyclist sped away and the driver of the car hopped out and hurried over.
"Oh shit!" He dialed for an ambulance. I just sat there and held her trying to keep her head from falling back. Her face was coated in blood, and now that I noticed, so were my hands. The whole world seemed to spin outside our little shell. Nothing else mattered, and it all seemed far away, lost in a mist. The paramedics arrived on the scene and took her away. I was ushered in along side her and sat in shock the entire ride. This wasn't real; it couldn't be. One moment she was laughing and acting her foolish self along side me, but now she lay on a stretcher headed for a trauma surgen's table not knowing if she would live or die. I sat in the waiting room in a daze. Everything was moving so fast and yet so slow. Hours past like minutes, and minutes passed like hours. No sign. A dense fog seemed to engulf my very being. At last the doors opened and a doctor emerged.
"Mr. Gunnr? Mr. Thibodeau?" I looked up and noticed that Angus was beside me, just as petrified, just as anxetious. The doctor nodded and walked over. "Miss Ghunnr has multiple head injuries, 3 broken ribs, a broken wrist and many severe cuts, but..." Ah the but; but what? I looked nervously to Angus, then back to the doctor. I couldn't get the words free from their prison in my throat. Angus felt the same way and so the doctor continued. "But she's in a coma and we have to wait until she awakens to understand the full effects of this trauma." He paused then unsurely, "We expect her to make a full recovery, but we don't know when she will wake. It could be right now, or a month or two down the road, or never, it's hard to tell. She'll need familiar voices, objects, sounds smells, something to draw her back. Would you like to see her now, or wait until some of this has assimilated?" Angus wheeled himself over to the ICU doors, and I remained seated, dumbfounded. Our little nut, why her? Slowly I rose and followed Angus and the doctor to her room. Oh it was horrible. So many machines with different functions and purposes, all with the same goal: keep her alive. I turned my head. What if she doesn't... Oh sweet Heavyside Gage, don't think about that. But what if the enevitable occurs? How would I go on? Screw me, how would her family, all nine million of them as she fondly put it, her friends, and anybody else that cared and loved her go on? Her father was deathly ill with lung cancer, her mother had a weak heart, Iain and Maive, her brother and sister-in-law didn't need the added "excitement", Calum and Uilleam, her other brothers, had been through enough, Angus? well that went without saying. He and Sine held a bond that survived all tests, all trials. What about Seumas, his wife and their kid? Some how my mind drifted back to the day Sine and I met; a warm June day.
I had arrived in NYC a day before and got settled and headed to the Winter Garden Theatre only to discover that not a soul was around. The next day I arrived early that morning and waited for any sign of life. I had the right place. I mean seriously, how could you screw up the Winter Garden? About nineish, the stage door opened, and a shadow entered. She sat down and flipped through her ancient red bag and pulled out a lap top, the best money could buy and brand new. You could tell she had some money. She tossed her hair, long, red and curly, to one side and finished an e-mail. After, she rose and then stepped into the light while I sat in the shadows. Her body was long and thin, but not anorexic, just enough to look real pretty. Her firey hair was partially pulled back off her alabaster face, fell to the small of her back, and made her look even thinner. I then took notice of her clothing; she wasn't from around here. A foreigner. Irish perhaps? My thoughts were rudely interupted as she glanced my way, and the light played in her green eyes. Finally this angel spoke,
"Hallo? Is sumbudy there?" Oh sweet Heavyside, a Scot. Slowly I rose to greet her.
"Um, hi" She smiled and suddenly my knees could no longer support my weight. "Um what are you here for?" Oh stupid Gage, very stupid. She grinned, she knew.
"I play Teazer." She lifted my sunglasses which had fallen, and inspected them with the curiousity of a child.
"Oh. I play Misto. Uh, sorry. My name's Gage, Gage Thibodeau." Well any chance I had to look poised and dignified had gone down the drain. She grinned and it lit up her face.
"Hallo Gage, Gage Thibodeau. Me name's Sine, Sine Ghunnr." She was mocking me, a sense of humour? She was rich, you could tell, bit she had solid roots and was very down to earth.
"Uh, where you from? You're not from around here are you?" Keep her talking Gage. She shook her head.
"Nay. I grew up on a sheep farm just north o Elensburgh in the Ighlands o Alba."
"Alba?"
"Um, er" She was translating. So she spoke English as a second language. "Um, Scotland. I'm surry, but English is not me first language." I smiled.
"Ah, tis okay. If you're from abroad, then what are you doing in New York and not London?" Her facial expression quickly changed.
"Er, I'd rather not talk bout it." Smart Gage, you're a genius. I looked around my surroundings again, then she volunteered. "Dew yew want tew get summat tew eat? Either that or get ourselves lost? Tell me bout yerself Gage. Where yew frum?" I nodded and we headed out to the street.
"Tampa. Florida. Nothing great or wonderful, well nothing like a sheep farm in the Highlands. I'm not rich" Sine laughed, "I can speak French almost as fluently as English. Not much more. Do you have any brothers or sisters?" I did try, really, not to put as much emphasis on sisters as possible, but she laughed at me anyways.
"I've got five older bruthers, two sisters-in-law with anuther on the way, one nephew an anuther niece or nephew on the way. Ow bout yew bruthers? Sisters?"
"Just how old are you?" She laughed.
"18" My eyes must have done something weird, cause she howled. "I'm the yungest o the lot. Me eldest bruther, Angus is 26 nearing 27, Iain's just turned 26 with a 23 year old, pregnant wife Maive, Calum and Uilleam, the twins, are 24, an Seumas wuz 24 in..." She paused and pondered "Februrary. Is that how yew say it?" I nodded and she continued. "E's got imself a wife an a lad, Alex. I though, wuz a freak accident. Me folks ad given up ope fer a girl. Wot bout yew?" I smiled, definately a good sense of humour.
"Just a one younger brother, Gavin." She smiled and laughed again, and I found myself wishing for crutches to magically appear. We arrived at a coffee shop and she ordered herself a cafe mocha, and a bagel. She offered to buy me something but I wasn't hungary and refused. We sat in silence in a booth by the window. I found myself a napkin and began to sketch something. She curled up her legs, and worked on her computer and meal. For some reason, the silence was deeply satisfying; we were just enjoying each other's company. After a while I looked up from my fruitless design and saw her eyes, glistened with tears. Alarmed I inquired. "Sine, what's wrong?" She laughed at herself.
"Oh nowt." I eyed her suspciously and she caved. "It's daft really. I wuz just flippin through my data base an I grew lonely, an longed fer ome." I shook my head.
"It's not daft. You're so far away from home. It's alright to miss it." She smiled, I melted.
I watched her badly swollen, bruised face, or what was visible. It was black and blue, a far cry from her normal alabaster of yesterday. It was yesterday already? I looked at my watch, 6 o'clock antimerdian. Where was the window? Sine never missed the sunrise. She adored natural art, the beauty that surrounded her, even in NYC. I guess that's why she adored Central Park and made an excursion to it at least once a week. I turned to the doctor and frantically,
"Where's the window? If there's anything more familiar to her, it's the sunrise and sunset. WHERE IS THE WINDOW?!" Angus looked at me worriedly. I walked up to her, kissed her gently, and left the hospital. I found myself a vendor and bought a disposable camera. She wasn't going to miss it after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was going mad. At the moment when Gage cried out for the sunrise, I knew how deeply they, Gage and Sine, were in. For me, I really don't think the shock had sunken in. This was our little girl, MY little girl. Hell, I'd practically raised her myself. I wheeled myself over to her and watched her lay, asleep? No just below the ice, lost in a mist. For the most peculiar reason, I laughed, honest and true. The doctor looked at me strangely.
"Mr. Gunnr?" I shook my head.
"Oh it's nowt. Just a memory." He nodded and turned back to his work, his bloody charts. Slowly my mind drifted to a different time and place. Slowly I becam lost in the mists and arrived to the spring I taught Sine how to speak English.
She wasn't more than two when I decided to teach her English. Before then, she only spoke Gaelic, Scottish Gaelic. I walked over to the barn where I knew she'd be with the bums, or orphaned lambs.
"Sine! Sine!" She looked up.
"Tha Anoghus?" I motioned for her to follow, and she did. I took her out to our little piece of paradice, the water fall with the boulder jutting out into the pool where the water flowed out to the Baltic Ocean. She looked at me confused and could not comprehend when I began to speak to her in English. Hell, she had to learn. She'd be starting nursery school in the fall. Not all the students, let alone the teachers spoke fluent Gaelic to understand. Our father, bless his soul, believed in the traditional forms of our ancestors, so he taught us Gaelic as our first language. Then came Norwegian, which lead into English. Then Mum took over and taught us French, German, Dutch and if we were lucky, Latin. My parents were champion dancers, in their time, and had to learn as many languages as possible. They realized the significance of each, and taught them to their children. I was chosen to teach Sine because a) I was dubbed "a good teacher" and b) Sine and I were very close. I started with the basics. She realized the necessity and did not want to be out done by me, so she quickly drank up every word I uttered. The first week, I started with the ABC's , numbers, and simple phrases, but I realized that she had a very good concept of language and picked up the pace. She was 2 1/2, and already understanding complex word order, sequences of tenses, how to apply certain word, and how certain words had different meanings. This was one gifted child. That spring passed quickly and Sine grew stronger and even began conversing in English to anyone that would listen. In the late summer, she headed off to primary school, instead of nursery as she was so far ahead, and in primary school, she motored her way through. The teachers could hardly keep up. At age four, she was the British equivilant to the American grade four. As her English steadily improved, I began teaching her Norwegian, and French, and German, and Dutch, and Latin. By the age of twelve, she had mastered these, and was in first year university along side Seumas. She finished her PhD in physical anthropology, Viking archaeology, and forigen language by the time most her age were heading into first year, 18. I couldn't help but feel an extreme pride for this girl, my little girl, the one in the hospital bed, bruised and battered. I could feel the tears fall down my face. As the mist bade me enter my own time, it whispered o tha mo dhuil ruit, I love you. Then I sat in the room staring at her. It was the Gaelic of the Mists. Yet another rarely spoken myth, because of it's nature. Anyone who was ever lost in the mists, and lived to tell the tale, spoke one thing in common, the mist speaks. At first it sounded like the wind, but then it began to speak more like a language. To the ones lost out in the Highlands, they always claimed that the mist sang or spoke to them from their personal memories, but always in a pure dialect of Gaelic. O tha mo dhuil ruit? I love you? I looked at Sine's heart monitor and then it struck me. Dead people, only dead people spoke through the mist. I watched the monitor and slowly her heart rate became quicker.
"Doctor! Doctor! Her heart rate! I'm no physican, but damnit, I know that's not good!" The doctor's eyes widened. He began barking orders and asked me to leave. In my heart I knew it was going to be one of the last times I'd see her. Begrudgingly, I wheeled myself out. I said a quick prayer and went to find Gage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat alone in the theatre, waiting, thinking and just letting everything sink in. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. I had worked so hard to get where I was, but when she walked in the theatre door in June, it all seemed so material. Now I found my satisfaction, my worth, in her arms or her hands in my hair, or sharing a meal, or sitting my head on her lap, both of us reading, or even the thought of know I ment something, I was somebody to her. All her ideals, her idols, her fame, her adoration of nature, seemed to take second place. Oh damnit, why did it take something this big for me to finally notice? Now I might not have the chance to tell her. The mist began to overwhelm me again, and I slipped back to a different time and place, back through memories.
It had been a long day's practice and we were both extremely tired. Gavin had come downstairs with Sine and I, and watched. I don't know why she invited him, but it's irrelivant. Anyways, I jumped up on the oversized old Ford, Gavin was fooling around with something belong to Angus, the chief make-up artist, and Calum the chief costume designer, and Rob, the guy who played Munkustrap, was tuning his chello. Sine had gone off wandering,and eventually made it back. In a flirty mood, or just really nutty, she crawled onto Rob's lap while he was playing. Poor Rob had been the centre of her attentions to annoy, but he smiled, blushed and tried to accomedate her. After teasing him for a bit, she kissed his cheek, and left him, heading towards the stage. Rob grinned and blushed. He had been deemed hopeless by Jenny, Grizabella. Sine then began to tease Gavin. I swear he enjoyed it. Bored with him, she hopped up on the car, and laid her chin over my waist. Gavin disgusted by her next choice inquired,
"You're just a big flirt aren't you?" She grinned,
"Nay, I just know how tew get tew people." Angus who had been mucking about with a painting, looked up and grinned. After a bit, Rob had to leave, along with Angus and Calum. They had some board meeting or something like that to attend, so we were left alone.
Sine, after a while, inched her way from my waist to my chest, pulled me onto my back, and lay with her head on my chest listening to my heart beat. What else could I do but put my arm around her waist. She sighed happily and half dreamily. We were both half asleep. She looked up, smiled, and nestled her head down.
"What was that all about?" I inquired. She looked up.
"Wot does it matter?"
"Everything's got a reason; everything's got a purpose." She shook her head.
"Dewn't ask bout the future 'til it cumes." She smiled gently and for once I was glad to be lying down. A little while later she looked up and and stroked my chin. "Peach fuzz" I smiled, rolled my eyes, and laughed.
What little light was left danced and played in her green eyes. Now I never noticed it before, but in the days preceding, she spoke passionately about her home, in the Highlands, painted scenes from her childhood on the walls of her apartment, and suddenly realized how green her eyes were and how closely they were in colour to the Highland terrain. Her hair was as red as the sunrise and as curly as the babbling brook. Her eyes were as green as the dew covered fields, her lips and what they uttered, as soothing and gentle as the peaceful breeze of the country, and her skin as fair and soft as the new born lambs in the spring. Whoa snap out of it Gage! You don't know her that well, and yet...and yet I fell as if I've known her all my life. I'd never met anyone like her. Oh sure I had girlfriends, but in the entire time I knew them, none could bring out of me what she could in a split second. Our next conversation consisted little more than childhood memories of peace and sleep. She eventually closed her eyes and fell asleep. Slowly I worked to make myself comfortable without disturbing her. That car does NOT make a good bed. Eventually I fell asleep, but in the night I grew cold and wrapped my arms around her. When we awoke the next morning, I noticed her semi alert in my arms. I smiled at her. "Hi" Her eyes looked up and she smiled.
"Hai." I could see that for once Sine Ghunnr, was embarassed and quickly figured out that she'd never done anything like that before. I smiled gently and she nestled her head back on my chest and began to fall back asleep, but this tender scene was rudely interupted by a familiar annoyance.
"Gage! Gage! Where are you!" Gavin had fallen asleep back stage and was just about upon us. After a few moments adjusting to the light, he glared at me. He saw her hair. "What the...? I don't even want to know what you've been doing! Come on! It's time to go home!" Begrudgingly, I got up, helped Sine up and left the theatre. There was a lot of backlash, especially form Gavin and Calum, but we grew stronger together.
My mind drifted through the mists to another time and place: In her barn in Scotland just after Angus was shot. We went out foa a walk after supper. They have four meals there: breakfast, lunch or dinner, tea and then supper. She wasn't feeling so hot and her heart was a mess so we headed to the rock that jutted out into the pool from the waterfall. She began to drift off to the clouds, something I never saw her do before, and the conversation keeled over and died. I'd begun to worry as we sat there in an eerie silence. Suddenly I felt a hand, then cold and then very wet. I surfaced to find her howling with laughter. She just pushed me in! That did it, I had to seek revenge. I gave her ankle a good swift tug and she was right in with me. She surfaced, splashed me and hopped out, took off her cords, wool sweater and t-shirt underneath, and hopped back in in a pair of short tights, and sports bra. We fought and fought and fought, until she remembered we weren't permitted into the house soaking wet. We toddled off to the barn, well in truth played tag, and set ourselves up in the hayloft. I took my shirt off and settled down to tease her and eventually fall asleep. One of the main points I teased her about was the fact that she couldn't take off her top and dry off, but I've since learned never ever tease Sine about things she can and cannot do, cuz she'll go right a head and do the EXACT opposite. She scowled because she was extremely cold and my persistant remarks. She whipped off that sports bra, and it landed directly on my face. I went into deep shock. I looked like I was just slapped with a fish.
"I did not just see that!" Satisfyed, she wrapped herself up sufficiantly with the blanket, and went to sleep leaving me bewildered and thinking Scotland was a loony bin.
A slow smile spread acrossed my face as the mist bade me enter my own time, mutter something again, and set me free. Oh I could laugh at those memories now, but then, then I felt so outside her world, but some how she always made me feel a part of it. She loved ME, she always did. Why was I so blind? I couldn't hold them back any longer, and my tears fell swiftly down my face, like two violent rivers. It was here on this car it started, and I could still feel the wet top as it him my face. I made no attempt to conceal my emotions. I heard the door open and a foot fall heading toward the stage, but it all seemed lost in that damn mist, so far away. In a whisper wail I wept,
"Oh Sine! How could something like this happen to you? Haven't you been through enough?" Slowly, I headed up to my own apartment and at the large window, watched people go about their busy lives. How could they? Why didn't they know about the people in the hospitals? Didn't they care? A familiar voice, and unusually a comforting voice, Gavin's voice, called out.
"Gage? What's happend? What's wrong?" His voice faltered and trailed away. His older brother had been brought to tears. What was so terrible that could have moved me so? I took a deep breath and turned around.
"Sine's been in an accident. They don't think she'd going to make it." Gavin looked at me as though he had been hit by a ton of bricks.
"No, not Sine." He ran into his room and I continued my stare out the window, but this time I looked to the clouds. It was finally beginning to sink in. She might not come back. Right then and there, I broke. I fell to my knees and wept and wailed until I was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I entered the theatre, I began to worry. I saw Gage disappear to the flats, but I let him be. She had taken a severe turn for the worse, and funeral arrangements were plauging my mind. The doctor had given me the option of turning off the machines now, or wait for our family to say goodbye. I told him I had to think about it, as it wasn't something to me decided in haste. Slowly I made my way up the stairs. My chair was collapsable and I carried it up. Eventually I made it up to Gage's and Sine's flat, set myself back in my chair, and knocked on the door. Gage answered and allowed me enterance. This was the first time I'd seen the flat since they moved in together. Gavin had been over for the week and learned far too much about life for someone his age. I made my way to the kitchen, made myself a ham sandwich and headed to the sitting room to find Gage standing down the hall in the doorway of Sine's room. I ate my meal in silence and headed over. Gavin was peeking out from his room, watching in terrifyed silence. Suddenly Gage spoke.
"It's funny really. It takes nine months to create life, a lifetime to make something of it, but a split second to take it away."
"Gage?" He ran his hands through his black hair, and then came into his own.
"Angus, don't you see how pointless it all is? Who will remember you when you're gone? Will you be some topic of study in a classroom of half stunned kids who are more interested in the guy or gal sitting three rows over than history or anyone who's made something of themselves? How can I live with that eating away in the back of my mind? How will she be remembered? Or will we all be forgotten? Angus I love her, and I can't bear to think of her six feet under with worms crawling through her still form." Gavin fidgeted, and I looked down then back up to his insane blue eyes, and his crazy black hair. I nodded. In truth he was right. How do you go on? What does become of your memory after you pass away? He finally ventured into the room and sat on the bed which days before, as I was told, Gavin found them both sleeping in. Just how close were they? Sine, in part, was very opened, but also in part, very closed and reserved. Gage was completely closed. He did open himself up on occation, but only when he was with Sine, or blew up. I sighed deeply and stood in the doorway.
"Gage," he looked up "Gew tew er, be with er. She needs yew mure than anythin." He nodded and headed out. I stood for a moment in the doorway, then looked to Gavin. "Last tiam yew cume fer a visit eh?" As frightend as he was, he found it in himself to smile.
A month had passed and Sine improved slightly. Day by day was each its own struggle. The understudies for both Sine and Gage, had taken over their roles. After the afternoon of Gage's blow up, he never left her bedside. Eventually the wounds to Sine's body healed, and what was left was the frail alabaster form. Each day she seemed to be rising closer to the surface, making her way out of the mists. Gage, bless his good heart, talked to her, sang to her, told her stories, and basically nursed her dormant soul. It soon became evident that it was no long a matter of if she would wake, but rather when she would wake. She owed her existance to Gage, to his love. I walked in on one of his songs and sat in utter shock, alarm, and amazement. When I first met Gage, I found him irritating, shy and much too quite. Sine adored him though, and for once found someone her size, maybe not as energetic, but they got along well enough. He was very giving, didn't let too many things get to him, had a wicked sense of humour, and could show her up any time he pleased. She on the other hand, was wild, carefree, giving, increadibly malicious, but so sweet and loving that she would make the lucky man a very interesting wife. He continued to along, singing and whistling a song she'd taught him until she began to stir.
"GAGE!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd been singing, again, to Sine a song she'd taught me, "Old Brown's Daughter", but Angus inturupted.
"GAGE!!" I looked up and heard, like the music of angels, Sine groan and stir. My heart jumped into my throat, and I took her hand in mine.
"Sine...Sine" She slowly came back to us. Her face scrunched, and she opened her beautiful green eyes. I'd been waiting a month and a half to see those sparkle again. She took one look at me and grinned, she remembered. "Hi beautiful." It took her a moment to form the words, but she rested back on the pillow and smiled.
"Hai Roneth." I stood up, and kissed her brow. She met me halfway, and squeezed my hand. Angus began to leave us, but she called him back. "An just where dew yew think yer gewin yew big oaf?" He laughed, and turned around. She and Angus spoke for a bit, switching between many languages I don't understand, but that didn't matter, she was awake, alert, and alive.
A few months passed after she left the hospital, and things returned to semi nomalcy. I mean seriously, with Sine, nothing's normal. Her actions were some what reserved compared to before, but eventually she found new ones with which to drive us nuts. About a year after the accident, I had the joy of watching Sine walk down the aisle, and take my hand, say "I do" or in her case "Ah dew" allow me to kiss her and take her away to be my wife.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After all the mist, after all the shroud, darkness, dispare and hopelessness, we, as humans, always rise above. I wear my great grandmother's wedding ring with the greatest pride and joy because of what's woven into it, all the memories. Ten years have gone by since your father and I walked from the church and away to our new life.
"But Mum! What happened to the theatre? What happend to CATS?" I smiled at my little lad.
"Gew ask yer father" Off he went, and I reshelved the journals.

Back to the collection...